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Eliza's avatar

Saw some of my own childhood reflected in this piece, thanks for writing!

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Maudite femmelette's avatar

Thank you so much for reading !

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Isabelle Elena's avatar

It feels weird to say I'm loving this series and the characterisation of yourself because it is literally your story and your life, but it is really interesting and I'm loving it!

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Maudite femmelette's avatar

thank you so much, it wasnt easy to write, but therapeutic nonetheless !

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High Prismatic Priestess's avatar

Please please please, seek a therapist or someone who can help you process your childhood. My heart aches for you because even though you’ve found freedom, you are not able to enjoy it due to your parents. Life is so such better when you stop hating yourself, I know from experience. You don’t need to be ashamed of yourself for making friends or wearing nail polish ❤️‍🩹

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tess♡'s avatar

I come from a 2nd 3rd world country too so that may be why I see myself mirrored in your experience so accurately. Love your flow of thought and recounting of stories ♡

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Maudite femmelette's avatar

thank you so so much <3 (fellow conscript in the war that is being ‘literally just a girl’ but like, in a way more sinister socio-cultural l context)

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Dec 9
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Maudite femmelette's avatar

I don’t like any of these terms either, online spheres impulse to categorise, label, identify is mostly pernicious especially when it comes to things that concern areas where dignity is at stake.

I’ve read a lot of testimonies from “incels” (the sad/desperate ones rather than the angry ones) and I understood that they’re in series of vicious cycles, in many areas of their lives, and at the end of the day, it all comes down to having lacked love and respect in the communities/families/social sircles they’ve grown up in.

Anyone who didn’t/doesn’t get to witness external testaments of his loveability will end up destroying themselves (and others too for the angry “incels”).

The idea that you can just conjure self love individually with mantras/self help etc. is to me a neoliberal cultural token that’s been established to justify and catalyse the commodification of relationships, and justify treating each other like we don’t need authentic social bonds and authentic love and consideration for each other to thrive in life.

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Dec 10
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Maudite femmelette's avatar

thank you so much, same for me ! I also thought about this african proverb that illustrates this and so many other things that characterise our epoch : “L'enfant qui n'est pas embrassé par le village le brûlera pour sentir sa chaleur”

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Dec 10
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Maudite femmelette's avatar

the second implies looking at our collective responsibility in whatever each and every one of us becomes, and who wants to do that.

It reminds me of rene girards’ theory of mimetic crisis and scapegoating; communities cyclically designate a scapegoat, and destroy it collectively to purgate and expiate their collective sins, everytime they reach a crisis situation where violence levels reach a certain level.

Because it’s too hard to have to accept the reality of individuals being capable of containing both victim and villainhood. Because it implies we all are/can be + it implies that there are no heroes, no myths, no poetic justice,(to save us/ to save others from) but rather only fragments of these things in everyone.

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